Thursday, December 31, 2015

Run Away No More

Run away no more

Running away is easy. You don't have to know where to go, you just have to run. I've been running away for a long time now. 

After my mission I felt uncomfortable with what the future had in store and I ran away to EFY. Four years I was able to run away to a place that kept my mind where it had always been. But that plan couldn't last forever. 

As graduation approached I was unsure of the future again and made plans to run away to Peru and Fiji. The same day I set those plans in stone I met someone who I connected with like I had never connected before. I did my best to hold onto them while I ran away, but it wasn't meant to be. 

The end of that relationship meant that my future was again without a plan. The day that we called things off I made plans to run away to El Salvador, and a few days later to run away to Peru. 

Not long before running away to El Salvador I met another amazing person. He brought joy again to my life in just a matter of days. He made me laugh and helped me feel of worth. But of course, I had made plans to run away. 

That's how I could be happy. Run away from my problems. Run away from my life. Run away from being who I really am. 

Running away was my plan. 

Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a dirt road, watching the fireflies flicker late one night in El Salvador I realized . . .

Running away is hard. You have no where to go, and you don't get to stop. It's about time that I gave up running away. 

Happiness comes from running towards something, not from something. 

Today I'm choosing to run away no more. I'm running towards what makes me happy and feel of worth. I'm running towards my future and being who I really am. 

Does it mean my future is clear? No. But I'm not scared of what it holds. I'm done running away. Run away no more. 

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